The joys of being zombie

As the wonderful "The Walking Dead" ends its first season, it's time to reflect on all things zombie.

First off, what is a zombie? Most of the recent incarnaions appear to be people who have been brain damaged by some sort of mutant virus, but they are still in some sense alive. I give "The Walking Dead" kudos for going completely dead with their zombifications.

Originally, a zombie was a reanimated corpse or possessed person created by the use of voodoo. Bokors, or sorcerers, created the zombies, and they were under the direct control of the sorcerer. Hence, the reason in my story Saving the World for $12.50 an Hour, the Zombie Master makes it a point to say no one controls him.

There do appear to be actual cases of zombification by voodoo. Check out "The Serpent and the Rainbow" and "Passage of Darkness: The Ethnobiology of the Haitian Zombie" for information on how zombies are made. Heck, "The Serpent and the Rainbow" was a pretty creepy movie, too. Using neurotoxins and powerful halucinatory drugs, bokors can induce a death-like state and a state of trance where through which they can control a person.

The word zombie entered into America through "The Magic Island" by W.B. Seabrook in 1929. It was a zombie story set in Haiti (who says Haiti never gave us anything)and deals with the walking dead created through the use of voodoo.

OK, that's enough background. Let's just say zombies rock and they've been freaking us out in America for nearly 100 years. Here's some zombie thoughts for you:

Top ten things zombies can teach us
10. It doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, black or white, people are awesome -- with barbecue sauce.
9. Be goal oriented. (braiiins)
8. Know what you want and go after it. (braiins)
7. Cardio is important.
6. Fashion doesn't matter, it all turns to tatters in the end.
5. Don't be so worried about your appearance. So he's got green skin and yours is just a mass of open scars, we're all zombies.
4. Don't forget to double tap.
3. Your dreams (of brains) can come true, if you pursue them (people). --Zombie Walt Disney
2. Seize the day, because tomorrow you could be the walking dead.
1. Brains are what matter most.

Top ten tweets of the zombie apocalypse.

10. Fresh brains zom zom zom
9. OMG I just shot my mom in the head. I also hear zombies are attacking.
8. Finally, a use for my Humvee. Running over zombies.
7. H8trs h8t, z0mbies 8
6. Icanhaz braaaaiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnss LOL

5. Wooo Hooo, I'm the last man on earth. I can finally get with Jenny. Too bad she's a zombie.
4. KOGI Truck ROJA has no lines. Come get your kimchee quesadillas while they last.
3.RT@glennbeck See this is what O does. We all know he's really a zombie. His father was a foreign zombie. He's helping the zombies people. wake up.
2. Braaaaaiiiiinnnnnnsssss
1. Briiiiaaaaannnnnnnnsss